Yes its official, baby#2 is having his/her cosy sleep house up now. Currently at 3weeks conception.
Looking at the growing JCH sleep at this hour, I suddenly have such turmoil-ish emotions coming up. Probably compounded on by the nausea I'm having now.
I am a lousy multi-tasker, I admit. When there's hardly enough time for me to attend enough to, stay enough with, and love enough of Elias, what am I supposed to do when baby#2 comes along?
Will the immense love that I have for Elias cover any love that I can have for baby#2 that results in me not attending to, not staying enough with, and not loving baby#2 enough?
Will the split of attention and difference in teaching stages plus triple the chores make me a crazy mom unable to give my husband and children a warm place called home?
Am I capable of handling two children, teaching them both respect, love, tolerance, patience and sharing adequately?
Going through pregnancy all over, it feels familiar all that's happening. Yet with the slight differences between this pregnancy and the last, is enough to throw me off course. And I had thought that a second pregnancy would be a breeze. But it proves otherwise. There's always a constant worry that I cannot protect this pregnancy enough. With the daily activities, especially when its school closure for Elias, the fact that I'm so used to being back to the rough me and not willing to be that careful back then, plus the fact that there really isn't much thought of being careful as the thoughts to handling the day's events and stuff, I always worry.
While I am thankful for this gift of baby#2, yet the negatives in me more than double compared to when I was expecting Elias.
Probably thought I would need to pen it down somewhere for outlet, so that it (negative thoughts and emotions) doesn't stay and eats me up sooner than the input of positivities.
Here's a peek at baby#2's cosy house..☺
