Writing this post while waiting for the sterilizer to finish its job, and then for the FM container to cool down enough so that I can pick it up and fill tml's portions of powder for the boss. And realize upon logging into Blogger that I have a few drafts not yet finished! Another time..I have plenty more of wee-hours posts to come.
This post is so titled: To the Working Mom, SAHM, and Work-from-home-Mom comes from my current situation.
Let's start off by saying that I have been blessed enough to be SAHM (categorized literally as Stay-at-home-Mom without working in any form except that of being a mother her brood) ever since Elias' birth up until early Feb this year. Nooooo don't tell me you are jealous. From all the tributes to SAHMs (I will include links to some that I have come across, later, may be much later), many would have known by now its by no means an easy feat. Plus, it is really a super high paying job but alas, we really don't get paid at all in any form. Only for renumeration in the form of our expenditures. Another reason to not be jealous is the fact that you would lose so much freedom that one can potentially end up losing friends. I for one, thinks I have lost some.
Since being SAHM, there's so many things that I used to enjoy and have the priviledge to indulge in before that I simply can kiss them GOODBYE. Things like going for my daily jog, arranging bi-weekly or monthly facial appointments, having my masseur come over for that much needed deep tissue rubs, having those quiet moments, enjoying my favorite shows or even just plugging ear phones on for my music therapy when the stress gets going. When out with friends, it is always impossible to hold proper conversations unless the baby sleeps. And any mothers would know that the babies can really keep awake when you need them sleeping you know. Other than this reason, I am always checking the time, what time is it now, need to head to the diaper changing room to change baby, need to feed baby, or even calm down a freaking-out-baby. Calming down a freaking-out-baby is hard chore. These, are when I can join my friends for gathering. But it would appear as if I wasn't even there before bcos I just don't get to talk to them properly. Sometimes, I would find it hard to be talking to them too cos my whole mind is on Mommy Mode. No common topic = No talk. Not to mention the times when I have to give up meeting my friends bcos of baby not well, baby nap time, or simply bcos I have no confidence in bringing baby out alone to the chosen venue bcos its not in some well-equipped shopping malls. Yet I would feel it unreasonable to get them to change meeting venue just for me, and then they wouldn't get to enjoy the food and atmosphere initially intended to.
So yea, I've definitely lost friends. :(
Another reason for you to not be jealous of SAHM is: just think about the tension you would get when you keep thinking of the one person earning for three persons spendings.
**ARGH IRRITATING MOTOR ZOOMED PAST AND FREAKED ELIAS UP CRYING LIKE MAD!!!**
Ok, as I was saying. Its like, there's so much thinking before spending money sometimes that I feel like going mad. Probably of the way I was brought up, I felt useless and powerless. Worse still when I was told that finances strain are coming up. I'd get so beaten up about everything. Then I would be asking myself, "so while the rest are busy with work and balancing family life, what have I been busy with? It seems like nothing lo." And some friends would remind me that I just spent one year, nurturing and growing a baby from scratch. It does sound like nothing much. But when I heard that and thought about it, I did super alot of things. But still, such work is so mundane that it always get swept under the rug and there, I've done nothing.
Time ticks, and Elias is growing up. Its time to put him into childcare centre. My main aim of doing that is to let him go make friends of his age. But another bigger obligatory aim is to work. Like, once he is not home, I have that whole slot of time free right? There is nothing called "being free" in this world. If you are caught doing NOTHING i.e. BEING FREE, it means everything negative.
Kudos to SAHM who have brought up their children on their own. Kudos to SAHM who have brought up their children with help bcos those are help very much welcomed and you are so super duper lucky to be able to get help in any and whatever ways. Good for you! *I envyyy~~~* Much as there are down times, but the times I have at home to fully concentrate on taking care of the little bub is priceless. Seeing first hand all his First Times are like, I'm blessed to be able to witness those.
Who knows, I got approached to do part time work, FROM HOME.
Like so yipee cos its what I'm looking for. Problem is, Elias is not yet to childcare centre.
So now, I am a Work-from-home-Mom. I hold 2 jobs: my daytime job up till 10pm is to take care of Elias as usual and I will make it a point to spend good time with him. It will totally defeat the purpose of me working my health away yet my baby is estranged from me. I would die over it. And night time job till 1:30am is my part time job.
Sounds like slack part time job right? Like only 3hours? Mind you, sometimes family members get too tired to help me out with the chores as promised that I have to do chores at 1am. Pls understand that I am only human, and I do feel quite upset about it sometimes, but yet on the other hand, everyone has their day and this is called doing me a favor. I am not angry that they can't help me at night bcos I do know that this is my responsibility which they have offered to share on top of what they have to do. Its just that, its so tiring. Try being a crazy person from 9am (the time I'm totally sober in the morning) till 10pm at night, and continuing beating the sleepy bug till 1:30am, sometime having to do chores after that. It is taxing, physically, mentally, emotionally when I have no help.
Why, there are times when Elias is sleeping or watching his cartoon that I can use to do work. Right? Technically right, but you gotta take in the fact that he is a baby now learning walking skills, pulling everything off the shelves and tables, put in the regular household chores, regular packing, cooking and washing, grocery shopping and all. Also that he is cutting down his nap time to once a day now, so there's alot of waking hours to deal with. The day is packed to the brim. Sometimes I just get so burnt out that I have to nap with the baby.
It is not I CHOOSE to nap, but its I HAVE to nap.
This is the time when I cannot fall sick, not even slightly. If it happens, nobody takes care of the baby, and I can't get my work done, I can potentially lose my job. Worse case is if Elias gets sick TOGETHER with me. Cannot bear to think of the chaos.
So I have to work day and night, but at the same time make sure I am resting enough not because I'm lazy, but because I CANNOT AFFORD TO FALL SICK.
Kudos to Work-from-home-Mom. I have known a few friends who are Work-from-home-Mom and I already think they are like superhumanbeings. I think I am failing trying to be one. But I have to keep working on it because I am required to be one.
The stress with having to juggle my day like that sets in and I need an output. Talked to a friend who is a Working Mom and asked her how she managed to pull through having to juggling family and work. I find my predicament similar to hers in that we both are the main caregivers to our brood. And she told me that I just have to pull through no matter what. If not, nobody will be there for the brood. So true.
Ok now I really CMI liao. Gonna fastly fill the FM powder and sleep. Shall continue another day on the Working Mom part. I promise cos Working Mom, IT IS HARD ON YOU TOO!!
Back to continue this post while the little bub is napping and his foods are steaming. I have little time left. Getting him to nap at 12nn is getting harder and harder bcos he wants to play so much, especially exploring his new acquired mobility and testing his limits. But its a nap that if he skips, the rest of the day and feeds just go bonkers and he will be such a cranky baby for the rest of the day.
Anyway, yes Working Moms.
Majority of my mommy friends belong in this category. Yes I know I am lucky to be a SAHM and a Working Mom now, they will all say Amen to that!
They miss sometimes, the First Times of their children's life. That first milk tooth, the first successful tummy time, the first crawl attempt, those first steps, etc.
While working, they are constantly worrying about the brood.
The worst is to have their phone ring and see it coming either from the husbands, their parents or parents-in-law, at an unusual time, or super worse is from the school or childcare centre.
Some of them have to rush home prepare dinner and do chores up till 1am (so sometimes while I'm working, it is good to have them on Whatsapp keeping me company..hehehe..)
All the last minute leave taking, and ultimately finishing up the leaves even before the year reaches Q3 bcos the children falls sick or gets HFMD so much easier these days (try putting a sick child in an aircon room with a group of healthy ones for one day and you see what comes on the following week).
Get stressed at work, get stressed at home when the brood decides to be cranky.
And the list can really go on. So now you see, Working Moms don't have it any easier.
Funny thing is, we all have husbands. And funnier is that, our husbands are considered modernized husbands who shares the load with us, like helping with housework sometimes, or take care of the brood sometimes. Still, our plates are always overflowing with responsibilities. I guess it all boils down to this:
"Because the husbands are not in tune with the children's routine as the wives are, plus the natural bond between a mother-child pairing, the brood likes to take up the mothers' time more than the dads'."
Have you been seeing the widely circulated cartoonized comparison of a kid's interaction with a mom vs that with a dad? To mom, the kid is always firing rounds and rounds of questions, tantrums, needs for love. To dad, the kid has only one question: "Where is mom?".
At the end of it all, I guess this is life. Like its said, life is a bed of roses and lemons. Try going to the wild and jump into a rose bush. Sure looks superbly pretty and smells rosy. But what we know and don't see is that rose stems are thorny (how the beauty of the rose cover the threat of the thorns). So jump right in buddy! Well lemons, you see, are good for our body, but it tastes REALLY SOUR. There you have it.
I guess this is why children completes a family, for those of us who are able to have them (always be thankful that you are able to have children, whether its by birth or adoption). When the going gets tough, cry a little, look at the brood, and all the tears and heartaches are worth it.
But not when there's no more courtship between the husbands and wives. Yet another topic, but, keep the love alive folks!
