Pregnant again!

Yes its official, baby#2 is having his/her cosy sleep house up now. Currently at 3weeks conception.

Looking at the growing JCH sleep at this hour, I suddenly have such turmoil-ish emotions coming up. Probably compounded on by the nausea I'm having now.

I am a lousy multi-tasker, I admit. When there's hardly enough time for me to attend enough to, stay enough with, and love enough of Elias, what am I supposed to do when baby#2 comes along?

Will the immense love that I have for Elias cover any love that I can have for baby#2 that results in me not attending to, not staying enough with, and not loving baby#2 enough?

Will the split of attention and difference in teaching stages plus triple the chores make me a crazy mom unable to give my husband and children a warm place called home?

Am I capable of handling two children, teaching them both respect, love, tolerance, patience and sharing adequately?

Going through pregnancy all over, it feels familiar all that's happening. Yet with the slight differences between this pregnancy and the last, is enough to throw me off course. And I had thought that a second pregnancy would be a breeze. But it proves otherwise. There's always a constant worry that I cannot protect this pregnancy enough. With the daily activities, especially when its school closure for Elias, the fact that I'm so used to being back to the rough me and not willing to be that careful back then, plus the fact that there really isn't much thought of being careful as the thoughts to handling the day's events and stuff, I always worry.

While I am thankful for this gift of baby#2, yet the negatives in me more than double compared to when I was expecting Elias.

Probably thought I would need to pen it down somewhere for outlet, so that it (negative thoughts and emotions) doesn't stay and eats me up sooner than the input of positivities.

Here's a peek at baby#2's cosy house..☺

after 3 weeks ..UPDATE: 2 full months.. of being in childcare centre

I started on this post like, back in third week of August and just got time to come back to finish it up! Its going to be a long one so skip this post if you don't like reading words! So here goes..travel back in time to 3rd week August~

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Yep little JCH is in childcare centre now (he's enrolled in beginning August)! I had wanted to post on Monday to record his 2weeks achievement, but been really busy catching up on the backlog of things i have to attend to. It has been 3weeks now an we have seen positive changes to his behaviour.

Many people who knows us, and our plans to have Elias enrol into childcare services right at 18mths mark. And I do get questioned by some people whether it is too early to be letting him be in full day childcare. Thankfully all these well-meaning people are understanding people too, some even encouraging me, telling me what to expect (the heartaches, cries, separation anxiety etc).

So for a start, to help ease him into the centre, we left him there for up to noon time before picking him up for the first 3days. Supposed to leave him half day for one week, but those 3days, after discussing with the teachers, he actually falls asleep right after play! So me picking him up results in rousing him up, interrupting sleep. So decided to leave him in the centre on Thursday of week 1 onwards for his afternoon nap. True enough it is better for him, though he naps for less than 1hr.

He got the sniffles over the weekend bcos of durian overdose (lololol) and didnt go school on Monday of week 2. And on that week's Tuesday, we left him at the centre for full day. He does cry in between the day and seeks comfort with some teachers that he likes. Decided to bring forward the entire schedule cos i was due to report back to office on week 3 Monday. I hope that by then he will have settled in more to the centre so that i wouldnt need to worry about the possibility of rushing back (i know, worry on no basis but its just there..at the back of the head).

He is still crying each time we bring him to the centre now at week 3 (sometimes hubby doesnt go but, he tries to avail himself on most days to send the boy to school), and still crying each time one of us go fetch him home. By Monday of week 3, he stops crying once the teacher carries him past THE WALL. Its like super automatic, some invisible veil of some sorts that he recognizes as "being in school". Similarly when he's being called to go home, once he passes THE WALL, and sees us, he cries. But by week 3, he doesnt come out as auto when his name is being announced to go home. Like he is having too much fun to go home now! Ahahahaha! Its a good thing i guess. Meaning he's settling in comfortably with the environment, little humans and big humans.

By Tuesday of week 3, i managed to talk to the coordinator too, who feedback to me that JCH is crying alot lesser throughout the day, totally enjoying his outdoor play to the extent that he refuses to go back into the centre to get changed out of his full diapers and settle down for meals, dances to music, staying more with his PG class and not disappearing running off to find his favored teachers at other classes, and when the teacher that he is stuck with needs to get busy and another teacher leads him away, he is able to be led away without throwing tantrum.

Yes he's got certain teacher he will go looking for to be carried when he feels insecure (i guess). And so far all the favored teachers have more flesh kind. Lol. The really skinny teacher (only one i see so far) he doesnt really go to her. The teachers takes turn at the door to take the temperatures of the children and check them for any signs of hfmd and for any other bruise or kind that they need to know, every morning when they come in and evening when they leave the centre. So we wld see the teachers and know which are his favourite ones.

Also looking at the comm book, he is showing signs of settling in as well. Progressing from not eating much, not napping long, and not pooping, to now he is eating all the meals in the centre and taking his milk feed, napping time slowly increasing (he usually naps 2~3hrs at home, but at the centre beginning is <1hr, now its passing the 1hr mark), and pooping well. He got a smiley sticker pasted on his shirt on Friday as a reward for responding well and being cheerful to the nursery rhymes being sung during class! I stuck that smiley sticker on the summary page next to that date. *proud moment*

Ah yes, the Communication (comm) Book. It is a good way to communicate with the teachers at the centre without physically staying there at lengths. There is a summary page to note certain fixed activities during the day, and then the rest of the book is for writing. Very useful. Of cos, the most important thing of all is to find a centre that u trusts with all your heart and soul, else the comm book is not helpful when the parents keep doubting and not trusting whats written. This vibe is easily picked up by the children and in turn translate to insecurities. So trust is very important. Besides, if the centre is no good, your kid will be sending distress signals that are easy to pick up.

So like i mentioned previously that im supposed to report to office. I have been working part time from home,and previously whenever i go office, my mom could help me take care of JCH. But as he grows up, it is getting more difficult for my mom to handle him. She resorted to leaving my brother's com on, playing his favourite Pororo cartoon all day long till this overdose killed his love for the cartoon. Pororo no longer holds magic for him anymore, i need to look for alternatives (shaaaattttt)!! So having him in childcare is a perfect option, at least he gets human interaction and learns social and other skills instead of facing the screen. Its just too much screen time.

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Now back to present time, today!

Our brave little boy has completed 2 full months of being in Playground in a childcare centre.

And I really just want to pen my sincere heartfelt thanks to the nurturing people at the centre, along with the children there. They have been most loving to our little one.

He has grown much, and also has picked up a lot in the centre. So far, mostly good things. AND FUNNY ONES TOO!

Let's recap for the last two months:

- He knows to roll back to his own sleeping area, unless its too warm to sleep comfortably, or if he got disciplined big time by me during dinner time (more on this later).

- He naps (in the afternoon) and sleeps (at night, sometimes, still working on this time) without the need for pacifier. Nope, he wasn't given the pacifier at the centre from Day 1.

- The day officially ends at 8:30pm for him ever since he started going for PG! YES!! We get more time after he sleep to pack up the house and rest.

- Now he gets times when he will want to sit in his own IKEA POÄNG armchair, if not for only the littlest while.

- His action of keeping megabloks is actually reinforced I believe at the centre (he already has the action going before going to the centre, which I have no idea is a habit or just random act). Either he emulates what the bigger children do, or all the children across all levels are taught to keep their toys after playing.

- He is able to following directions a whole lot better now. Being amongst the big korkors and jiejies (he is currently, at time of post, the youngest in the whole centre!), seeing how they respond to directions and following routines, has made him realized and learnt that behaviour too, something he would not have learnt so fast at home simply bcos he's alone and has someone spoiling him plus when I'm doing chores, I can't split myself to spend that amount of time to teach him all these.

- He has finally grasps drinking from a straw cup near 19mths old (1mth into being in the centre)! And self-feeding using spoon established by 20mths old! Just that, he tends to play when he's full.

- Totally off formula milk by 20mths old! He's taking full cream MEIJI milk at home now, and whatever full cream milk the centre is giving him.

- Since taking to drinking from straw bottle, he is now able to locate his bottle and drinks from it as and when he gets thirsty throughout the day.

- About two weeks ago, his crying has subsided a lot when we pick him up in the evening. And the teachers there also reminded him not to cry, cos he would walk out to the lobby smiling and blabbering, but once he sees us he would burst out crying. And that made all of us laugh like mad! Sorry baby, you are funny that way. :P

- Since last week, his crying when we bring him to the centre in the morning has started subsiding too. Today when I brought him in, he didn't even cry at all! The Chinese teacher hold him in her arms (he refused to take the seat, instead choosing to stand and lean on the teacher), does the morning medical examination, and only when she commented “今天很好哦！没有刮风下雨.." did he start to go "WUAAHHHHH~~" for a short while, quickly quelled by one of his PG teacher when she comes out to take his bag and bring him in. LOL! We were laughing at that too, really shouldn't have jinxed the moment.

- Since last week he has also been doing a particular action of standing under the shower head automatically to wash off soap from his body. And he loves brushing teeth a lot too! And yes, he cleans his mouth quite well, brushing clean even his tongue! I guess it also brings relieve to his gum. He bites a lot on the brush that I am going to throw a second toothbrush away soon due to fraying within 2 months' time! So I have bought one with silicone brush (a Pigeon Stage 2 brush) for him to continue soothing his gums while he has his screen time after shower.

That's all I can remember now! Quite a list for a 20mths old to achieve in 2mths time! I am so proud of him actually, for braving everyday, for learning like the sponge he is, for learning to express sorry-lets-patch-up (yes he has that action now), for his strong independence since the day he start to learn walking (nope, he didn't allow us to hold his hands AT ALL since the first time he started to learn balancing and walking).

Now, we are all just waiting for the day he starts talking and communicating with us verbally. Right now, its a lot of action communication.

I got this question before from a friend: "Wah he improve so much! You guys put him in those $2000 a month kind of childcare ah?"

Nope, we didn't have that kind of money. Its just a normal childcare that my teacher introduced to us, not those ATAS kind.

I guess the issue is not with the money you spend on the centre fees, but rather the people, the brains of the centre itself. And I can certainly say for sure, as certain as my teacher had once told me (she had volunteered for gardening lessons at the centre for a while as all her children attends that centre and she has the heart to teach), that the people at this particular centre are children-loving and nurturing individuals. I wouldn't say they are teachers, though the particular name to give for that profession is teacher. But I would think of them as more than teachers.

They are children-loving and nurturing individuals.

They teach curriculum, they empathize with the young ones and first timers, they love the children, they instill discipline upon them, they impart moral acts to them (the children are taught to say Good Morning when they go to the centre, and to say Goodbye to the parents, and are taught to say Goodbye to the teachers when they leave the centre, basic mannerism), and most importantly, they teach these children about the basics of being a person (correcting their unreasonable tantrums, teaches them communication, enforcing independence).

I can only say, thank God for His abundant blessing. :)

And 2 pictures to finish off this post. I have pixelated the faces of other children appearing in the picture, not sure if other parents want their children's faces here know.

This was a collage sent to me by the school of his first week's play time.

And this was captured by the teacher during food time of their Mid-Autumn celebration. I was there alone that day so, couldn't take any pictures on my own.

The Sha Diffuser

Oh my oh my!! I've finally got hold of The Sha Diffuser!! Ok before much inserts of my excitement, here's what its about.

This is the promotion of this new diffuser that Young Living rolls out starting 1st July 2014.

And ooo it comes in this sophisticated packaging!

And when you open the box to reach for the diffuser, wala u get a very oriental welcome by the flap! Totally dig the simplistic oriental design!

This is the striking description at the corner

And this is the Sha Diffuser and everything that's in it!



Showing close-up of the controller..sorry can't help it but use the box as background..just love the box la! Color of the controller is more true in the picture above.

There's the:
♡ Sha Diffuser of cos
♡ Power adapter (in box)
♡ Cleaning brush + cleaning instructions
♡ Operation manual
♡ Remote control
♡ Filling cup
♡ Free 5ml Lavender + 5ml Lemon oils

So, Sha is like an upgraded version of the original Home Diffuser that's already for sale from Young Living. And, showing both the Home Diffuser and Sha Diffuser side-by-side.


* Sha is totally controlled by the provided remote controller, while the Home Diffuser has a in-built on-off button. This means that I can prefill Sha and when I want it to start diffusing, just use the controller! Especially useful when JCH is so kaypoh these days and are ripping apart every single obstacles i place to prevent him from reaching the no-no items. Diffuser being one of them. So when i walk to the diffuser to switch it on, he will follow and try to rip apart the mattress that is blocking him from the diffuser!

* Sha allows for control of duration of diffusing (1hr, 2hr, 3hr, 6hr, 8hr max). Home Diffuser only has a max of 3hr diffusing, and the duration of diffusing is controlled by the amount of water you fill the reservoir with. Though I think that the capacity of the Sha to be able to diffuse 8hr straight is over the top, but on second thoughts, you need not diffuse 8hr straight. It just means that it has the capacity to hold that much essential oil water for that long duration to diffuse, but during a gathering I can always choose to diffuse it 8times 1hr each time throughout the entire day right? So the guests wouldn't see me (the host) taking the diffuser in and out of the toilet or kitchen 8times throughout the gathering! Its such a hassle, and totally unglam.

* LED lights on the Sha has the option to be turned off, but for the Home Diffuser, the LED lights are turned on the moment it is diffusing, throughout the diffusing period, until the reservoir is empty of water. Like I mentioned before, LED light sometimes isn't what I want my little terror to catch view of! Haha. Plus there are 2 colors that will be shown - green and purple. Nope, you can't choose the color, it just turns green this time, and when you off and on the LED light it will be purple next.

* There is only one wind vent for the Sha, and it comes with a shutting mechanism. Which is perfect! The Home Diffuser has got 2 wind vents on both sides of the reservoir, without the shutting mechanism. Every time I have to empty the reservoir, rinse it, and do monthly cleaning, no matter how gentle and careful I be, small amounts of water still get into the vents and drains out from the bottom of the Home Diffuser. So, its kind of like, a matter of time before the diffuser got some problem due to the constant backflow of water into the vents.

* And finally, Sha has in-built IONIZER!! Yes welcome anions into my house I love you guys!! That's how I get my hair nice and shiny thanks to the ionizer that my hair dryer has (there you have it friends, to your questioning how come my hair looks nice and shiny with little frizz, invest in a good hair dryer!!)! The white light in the middle of Sha as shown above is an indication that the Ionizer is running. So where does the ionizer come in? Ionizer is especially useful as it neutralizes the positively charged static environment that we are in by introducing negatively charged ions! These negatively charged ions are able to neutralize static electricity. This translate to better hair, better skin and overall, better health. That's the basis for the ionized wood floor laminate too!

Here are some links to read about ionizer and benefits of anions:
WebMD - Negative Ions Create Positive Vibes
Wikipedia - Air Ioniser

As a general conclusion stated in WebMD, commercial ionizer in general do not generate enough anions to achieve the desirable effects that we receive when we step into Mother Nature, and that the promotions of these ionizers are greatly exaggerated. I wouldn't say this is not true. But, let's change an angle of thought for a minute for Sha.

Why do I believe the Sha works and not exaggerated?

By solely diffusing essential oils, the atmosphere is already oxygenated, with the oil particles staying in the atmosphere, deactivating the harmful components of pollutants, virus and bacteria. The oil particles will also ionize the air in the atmosphere, creating anions out of the ions present, hence HELLO ANIONS!! Now by having the ionizer added to the diffuser, more anions will be released from the diffuser into the atmosphere! So the amount of friendly anions that I will be having in the room has just further increased! Remember, commercial ionizer does release anions, or keep ions to the plates in the machine, or creates anions from present ions, just not up to sufficient levels to be able to treat conditions. Let's just have a basic assumption that the ionizer in Sha does work as little as those commercial ones, thing is I would find investing in Sha a wiser option than just buying an ionizer unit. I can diffuse essential oils and reap all the benefits!

So the benefits of Sha is definitely not exaggerated.

There! The Sha Diffuser for you guys! I don't know about you, but I am loving the Sha so much now! Even more than I had previously adore the Aria Ultrasonic Diffuser. It is so expensive!!

Cleaning of the Sha is a breeze too, but a little muscle strength is required.

Shut the wind vent and keep it shut during each time you need to pour water out and during washing, and using only a gentle cleanser, add a little of that cleanser into some water in the filler cup, and pour the soapy mixture into the reservoir. I used KireiKirei handwash when washing my Home Diffuser, so reckon that it will work with the Sha. Use the provided cleaning brush, gently scrub the insides of the reservoir, especially the ultrasonic diffusing plate right at the bottom. Pour out the soapy water, and keep refilling the reservoir with clean water and emptying it until the reservoir is sparkling clean. Wipe dry the shut wind vent before opening it again for use.

So, here is the close up of the wind vent.


While you are at it, take the opportunity to flex some muscle, turn the metal mesh casing (its quite tight, so its both a good and bad thing) anti-clockwise to remove it, and wipe it clean using gentle cleanser and cotton pad or those soft microfibre cloth. I would follow through by drying the metal mesh using kitchen towel. At the same time, use a damp cloth to wipe the external of the reservoir, making sure to avoid any water from dripping onto the remote control centre.

This is how the Sha looks with every loose parts removed.


And there you have, a cleaned up Sha Diffuser. It is recommended to do cleaning on a monthly basis, though please allow me to add that, please pour off any residue water and rinse the diffuser (regardless of which one you use) with tap water after every single wash. You could choose to use the provided cleaning brush to gentle scrub the insides of the diffuser for extra clean. This (rinsing after every use) will greatly cut any possibilities of stubborn oil stains in the reservoir and makes monthly cleaning a lot easier and gentler (so you don't feel the need to give hard, tough scrubs to the diffuser).

For more information on purchase a set of the lovely Sha Diffuser, or any queries about any products, feel free to leave a comment with your email add so that I may reach you! Alternatively, my contact email is found in every picture. :)

Have a lovely Sunday ahead~

Literally..a leap of faith..

Wow i didnt realize its been 4mths since i last wrote!

Alright a quick update on what has been happening before i dive into what i want to really blog down at this hour of the day, in a sick but recovering state. Dont worry, its a common cold, nothing serious.. :) Thanks for the loves!

Ok so last i left it at that im working from home now, and that the little JCH is all so active these days, relishing his recently (okay, about 3mths ago) acquired and now almost perfected mobility. The whole day we are almost out for meals or for him to run outside, expending his energy. But i always wonder, whether the outing session is meant to tire him out or to tire myself out. I always return home totally flat on battery but that cheeky boy, still able to run all over the house many times over and beams that smile or throws some tantrum! He is like never out of energy it seems.

About my leap of faith, just about 1mth back in end April, i took a go at something thats reviving in modern health and wellness and has recently captured alot of attention worldwide, but particularly taking SEA pretty much by storm: Essential Oils. Specifically, i am an independent distributor of Young Living Essential Oil now. *beams proudly*

Remember me talking about not being able to fall sick in my last post?

Well, seems like for that 1mth after that post, i have been really busy working till 3 or 4am sometimes, that the sleep debt and nutrition imbalances caught up with me and toppled me over.

Big time.

For the first week of April, i was free, no work to do. And i fell sick. How great right? Like after a jammed packed month im sick now.

It started small, and i tot that i could go through it without medication. I have never liked meds, they make me prone to falling sick, amongst many others. By the time i went to the doctor in the second week it was full blown flu. Bad flu. Had to stay at my mom's place for a few days (thankfully she could help me take care of JCH while i take a much needed rest). And i have hubs coming up to help take care of JCH while i slp when im at home.

But, the meds couldnt cure my flu totally. I ended up with a sore throat that lasted for another week or so, refusing to be gone.

Then i remembered, i had visited my friend and she let me try Peppermint (Essential Oil, EO) when i was there, cos j was telling her how difficult it is to stay focused when u have sleep debt. Peppermint did what it was supposed to do immediately: it perked me up instantly! And i mean it! Like i was telling my friend, "我来你家是是睡醒的, 但不是清醒的, 现在我完全的清醒了!" (When i came to your place, i am awake, but not aware, now i am totally aware!)

And all it took was just one drop of Peppermint on my palm, spread it across my palms, cup it at a bearable distance from my nose so that i can breath in the lighter and more volatile compounds first, and spread the remaining oil over my shoulder and neck. Almost immediately, the cooling effect of Peppermint takes hold, and it felt so much more refreshing and comfortable than taking a cold bath.

I left my friend's place with some Peppermint and Lavender samples. Boy was i totally bowled over by Lavender. One drop and i was totally soothed to a restful slp! Prior to that day, i was having great difficulties sleeping at a good timing, and even greater difficulties staying awake and alert through the day bcos my body clock had been totally wrecked due to juggling work and home.

Ok so, i was faced with a nasty, stubborn, and very persistant cough. I told my friend about it and she helped to ensure i got the oils soonest possible.

I started out with drinking one drop of Lemon eo added to my first cup of tea as part of detox, applying Peppermint throughout the day (as and when i needed it) to stay focused and alert, and applying Lavender at night to help me get to sleep (since i started sleeping regularly at a certain timing, i slowly stopped making conscious effort to apply Lavender at night, till one night i could drift off to sleep without much struggle, and the next night and many more nights ever since).

Then as i read more, i started using these 3 basic oils to heal that persistant cough! That was my first step into the oils, it was a small step, one that is still quite obscured bcos it might very well have been the effects of my doctor's meds that i took previously.

Nonetheless, these 3 basic oils are already impacting my daily living by getting my slp/waking hours back to normal, keeping my focused and alert (doing alot better a job than teas and coffees from SBux, so in turn i saved spending regularly on SBux), and detoxing (i lost 1kg just by detoxing, i have yet to start actively on weight loss).

I know for sure that detoxing is working for me bcos i am prone to sebaceous cysts (almost all the cysts i had required medical intervention of varying degrees, including a day op). When i first started detox, i was already growing one such cyst. But this time round, it riped on it own, burst and i drained it, i did apply a little Lavender over it if i remember to, and the cyst healed and went away on it own! No signs that it was ever there!

This was my baby step.

And i took a bigger leap of faith, when i had inflammed lymph node at the back of my head just to the left of my brain stem. Refer to pictures for my testimonial. I had written that on 20May.

That, was a bigger step.

And now pls pardon me for hanging your appetite while i go sleep. Still recovering from a flu eh. Will continue again soon.

To the Working Mom, the SAHM, and the Work-from-home-Mom (COMPLETED)

Writing this post while waiting for the sterilizer to finish its job, and then for the FM container to cool down enough so that I can pick it up and fill tml's portions of powder for the boss. And realize upon logging into Blogger that I have a few drafts not yet finished! Another time..I have plenty more of wee-hours posts to come.

This post is so titled: To the Working Mom, SAHM, and Work-from-home-Mom comes from my current situation.

Let's start off by saying that I have been blessed enough to be SAHM (categorized literally as Stay-at-home-Mom without working in any form except that of being a mother her brood) ever since Elias' birth up until early Feb this year. Nooooo don't tell me you are jealous. From all the tributes to SAHMs (I will include links to some that I have come across, later, may be much later), many would have known by now its by no means an easy feat. Plus, it is really a super high paying job but alas, we really don't get paid at all in any form. Only for renumeration in the form of our expenditures. Another reason to not be jealous is the fact that you would lose so much freedom that one can potentially end up losing friends. I for one, thinks I have lost some.

Since being SAHM, there's so many things that I used to enjoy and have the priviledge to indulge in before that I simply can kiss them GOODBYE. Things like going for my daily jog, arranging bi-weekly or monthly facial appointments, having my masseur come over for that much needed deep tissue rubs,  having those quiet moments, enjoying my favorite shows or even just plugging ear phones on for my music therapy when the stress gets going. When out with friends, it is always impossible to hold proper conversations unless the baby sleeps. And any mothers would know that the babies can really keep awake when you need them sleeping you know. Other than this reason, I am always checking the time, what time is it now, need to head to the diaper changing room to change baby, need to feed baby, or even calm down a freaking-out-baby. Calming down a freaking-out-baby is hard chore. These, are when I can join my friends for gathering. But it would appear as if I wasn't even there before bcos I just don't get to talk to them properly. Sometimes, I would find it hard to be talking to them too cos my whole mind is on Mommy Mode. No common topic = No talk. Not to mention the times when I have to give up meeting my friends bcos of baby not well, baby nap time, or simply bcos I have no confidence in bringing baby out alone to the chosen venue bcos its not in some well-equipped shopping malls. Yet I would feel it unreasonable to get them to change meeting venue just for me, and then they wouldn't get to enjoy the food and atmosphere initially intended to.

So yea, I've definitely lost friends. :(

Another reason for you to not be jealous of SAHM is: just think about the tension you would get when you keep thinking of the one person earning for three persons spendings.

**ARGH IRRITATING MOTOR ZOOMED PAST AND FREAKED ELIAS UP CRYING LIKE MAD!!!**

Ok, as I was saying. Its like, there's so much thinking before spending money sometimes that I feel like going mad. Probably of the way I was brought up, I felt useless and powerless. Worse still when I was told that finances strain are coming up. I'd get so beaten up about everything. Then I would be asking myself, "so while the rest are busy with work and balancing family life, what have I been busy with? It seems like nothing lo." And some friends would remind me that I just spent one year, nurturing and growing a baby from scratch. It does sound like nothing much. But when I heard that and thought about it, I did super alot of things. But still, such work is so mundane that it always get swept under the rug and there, I've done nothing.

Time ticks, and Elias is growing up. Its time to put him into childcare centre. My main aim of doing that is to let him go make friends of his age. But another bigger obligatory aim is to work. Like, once he is not home, I have that whole slot of time free right? There is nothing called "being free" in this world. If you are caught doing NOTHING i.e. BEING FREE, it means everything negative.

Kudos to SAHM who have brought up their children on their own. Kudos to SAHM who have brought up their children with help bcos those are help very much welcomed and you are so super duper lucky to be able to get help in any and whatever ways. Good for you! *I envyyy~~~* Much as there are down times, but the times I have at home to fully concentrate on taking care of the little bub is priceless. Seeing first hand all his First Times are like, I'm blessed to be able to witness those.

Who knows, I got approached to do part time work, FROM HOME.

Like so yipee cos its what I'm looking for. Problem is, Elias is not yet to childcare centre.

So now, I am a Work-from-home-Mom. I hold 2 jobs: my daytime job up till 10pm is to take care of Elias as usual and I will make it a point to spend good time with him. It will totally defeat the purpose of me working my health away yet my baby is estranged from me. I would die over it. And night time job till 1:30am is my part time job.

Sounds like slack part time job right? Like only 3hours? Mind you, sometimes family members get too tired to help me out with the chores as promised that I have to do chores at 1am. Pls understand that I am only human, and I do feel quite upset about it sometimes, but yet on the other hand, everyone has their day and this is called doing me a favor. I am not angry that they can't help me at night bcos I do know that this is my responsibility which they have offered to share on top of what they have to do. Its just that, its so tiring. Try being a crazy person from 9am (the time I'm totally sober in the morning) till 10pm at night, and continuing beating the sleepy bug till 1:30am, sometime having to do chores after that. It is taxing, physically, mentally, emotionally when I have no help.

Why, there are times when Elias is sleeping or watching his cartoon that I can use to do work. Right? Technically right, but you gotta take in the fact that he is a baby now learning walking skills, pulling everything off the shelves and tables, put in the regular household chores, regular packing, cooking and washing, grocery shopping and all. Also that he is cutting down his nap time to once a day now, so there's alot of waking hours to deal with. The day is packed to the brim. Sometimes I just get so burnt out that I have to nap with the baby.

It is not I CHOOSE to nap, but its I HAVE to nap.

This is the time when I cannot fall sick, not even slightly. If it happens, nobody takes care of the baby, and I can't get my work done, I can potentially lose my job. Worse case is if Elias gets sick TOGETHER with me. Cannot bear to think of the chaos.

So I have to work day and night, but at the same time make sure I am resting enough not because I'm lazy, but because I CANNOT AFFORD TO FALL SICK.

Kudos to Work-from-home-Mom. I have known a few friends who are Work-from-home-Mom and I already think they are like superhumanbeings. I think I am failing trying to be one. But I have to keep working on it because I am required to be one.

The stress with having to juggle my day like that sets in and I need an output. Talked to a friend who is a Working Mom and asked her how she managed to pull through having to juggling family and work. I find my predicament similar to hers in that we both are the main caregivers to our brood. And she told me that I just have to pull through no matter what. If not, nobody will be there for the brood. So true.

Ok now I really CMI liao. Gonna fastly fill the FM powder and sleep. Shall continue another day on the Working Mom part. I promise cos Working Mom, IT IS HARD ON YOU TOO!!

Back to continue this post while the little bub is napping and his foods are steaming. I have little time left. Getting him to nap at 12nn is getting harder and harder bcos he wants to play so much, especially exploring his new acquired mobility and testing his limits. But its a nap that if he skips, the rest of the day and feeds just go bonkers and he will be such a cranky baby for the rest of the day.

Anyway, yes Working Moms.

Majority of my mommy friends belong in this category. Yes I know I am lucky to be a SAHM and a Working Mom now, they will all say Amen to that!

They miss sometimes, the First Times of their children's life. That first milk tooth, the first successful tummy time, the first crawl attempt, those first steps, etc.
While working, they are constantly worrying about the brood.
The worst is to have their phone ring and see it coming either from the husbands, their parents or parents-in-law, at an unusual time, or super worse is from the school or childcare centre.
Some of them have to rush home prepare dinner and do chores up till 1am (so sometimes while I'm working, it is good to have them on Whatsapp keeping me company..hehehe..)
All the last minute leave taking, and ultimately finishing up the leaves even before the year reaches Q3 bcos the children falls sick or gets HFMD so much easier these days (try putting a sick child in an aircon room with a group of healthy ones for one day and you see what comes on the following week).
Get stressed at work, get stressed at home when the brood decides to be cranky.

And the list can really go on. So now you see, Working Moms don't have it any easier.

Funny thing is, we all have husbands. And funnier is that, our husbands are considered modernized husbands who shares the load with us, like helping with housework sometimes, or take care of the brood sometimes. Still, our plates are always overflowing with responsibilities. I guess it all boils down to this:

"Because the husbands are not in tune with the children's routine as the wives are, plus the natural bond between a mother-child pairing, the brood likes to take up the mothers' time more than the dads'."

Have you been seeing the widely circulated cartoonized comparison of a kid's interaction with a mom vs that with a dad? To mom, the kid is always firing rounds and rounds of questions, tantrums, needs for love. To dad, the kid has only one question: "Where is mom?".

At the end of it all, I guess this is life. Like its said, life is a bed of roses and lemons. Try going to the wild and jump into a rose bush. Sure looks superbly pretty and smells rosy. But what we know and don't see is that rose stems are thorny (how the beauty of the rose cover the threat of the thorns). So jump right in buddy! Well lemons, you see, are good for our body, but it tastes REALLY SOUR. There you have it.

I guess this is why children completes a family, for those of us who are able to have them (always be thankful that you are able to have children, whether its by birth or adoption). When the going gets tough, cry a little, look at the brood, and all the tears and heartaches are worth it.

But not when there's no more courtship between the husbands and wives. Yet another topic, but, keep the love alive folks!

馬年快樂!! Happy Horse Year!

So sorry for leaving my blog to abandonment. It is just so difficult for me to sit down and write a post properly without any interruptionsssssss.  Bah!! I have recently started to pen down my thoughts on Dayre and you can follow me at dayre.me/muddleeva. =)

Typing on Dayre is so much easier. There is the emoji that helps me to express a look that only maybe one long paragraph can convey. Plus the fact that I can just type or share pictures any time of the day, only to have Dayre put them all together to form like a day's post is so much better for me. I can just type/post picture/post quote/post emoji without having to press the "EDIT" button to edit the entire post, and then re-post the entire post, and maybe find my re-post kena stuck and hence losing my entire day's effort of blogging. Dayre just update automatically each time i post a short write. Its cool! Try it!

Anyway, Happy Horse Year!! According to the Chinese calender, today is the last calender day. In another about 1hours' time, we will be ushering in the year of the Horse (and its a Water Horse at that!). How the Horse and Water year comes about has to do with the 5 main elements and the 12 zodiacs in Chinese culture. The 5 main elements being: Gold (金), Wood (木), Water (水), Fire (火), Earth (土), and 12 zodiac signs being: Mouse (鼠), Ox (牛), Tiger (虎), Rabbit (兔), Dragon (龙), Snake (蛇), Horse (马), Sheep (羊), Monkey (猴), Chicken (鸡), Dog (狗), Pig (猪). In one round of elemental cycle, there will 12 years, eg now is currently the Water element cycle, and going onto the year of Horse. Once it comes to the end of Water Pig, the Fire Mouse will be welcomed next.

For a quick update of what's been going on that I would leave this space untended for so long. Since my last post, it has been quite a hectic time of preparing for Elias' birthday celebration which took place on 19Jan14. Handmaking all the favors (and no one took it home in the end!!) and all the deco from scratch really takes time. Thank God for his provisions and sustenance, for ensuring I have enough raw materials for the preparations, and for keeping me free from sickness despite clocking sleep times of 2am or 3am, and having to wake around 830am. I am someone who needs a sleeptime of 9hours, and usually going anything 6hours and lower for one week, I will be terribly sick. So really thankful for Him keeping me well and going, and getting some help when outdoor errands need to be run.

And straight after Elias' birthday, there is no time to lose!! Need to redeco the house for CNY!! Oh gosh!! Plus all the things to pack, clean, and throw. Another time of late sleeps but I actually can't be bothered. Its like I read somewhere, everything is a priority. But I need to settle the important priorities first then go on to other priorities. Like, I need to keep the house clean yes. But I need even more to spend time with my baby. So I leave the bottles washing to night time, when Elias is asleep. Morning bath items are usually left till he takes his afternoon nap then I wash them up. When he is awake, is the time that I can spend time with him. No point wasting that awake time to do chores, and sit by a sleeping baby later right? Needless to say, with so many chores to handle, there are times when I have to leave him playing by himself in the play yard. But thankfully he kinda like understand that mommy is really busy. So during the height of all busy-ness, he is really well behaved. It is only during this week when the major chores are all completed and I spend more time sitting around him that he starts to bargain for our (yes not only mine, but his DadDad's as well) attention!

And now, I need to sign off before I'm done becos there is some work to do!

Happy Celebration!